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Writer's pictureJanelle Flay

...Embracing touch

I am a person who needs touch, connection, or just plain old needs the cuddle. Today, Archer, one of the menagerie,is the featured pup who clearly is down for this kind of attention and will gladly relish in his "Dog Mom's" need for contact.

What is it about petting/curling up with a sleepy puppy, kitten, baby, stuffed animal that feels so good?

***Note that the sweet husband did not originally make it to the list, but that is also because his cuddle time usually includes the annoying poking and prodding inflicted by me, which he does not enjoy as much as I do! Why do women do this?***

So after a longish day of work, in partial pain (another session for another time) I was thrilled with the idea of curling up on the couch with the pups on a rainy night and snuggling in.

Which then drew me to reflect on the idea of the necessity of touch and reflecting on the time in my life when touch was not available or really welcome. When I was in the Army we made to attempt to eliminate that need within our lives. This was specifically to establish professional boundaries, personal safety as well as too limit connection to others in order not to attach too much. Remembering that time is sometimes difficult and realizing that sometimes we went days, weeks without hugs from someone that cared, or without petting an animal is odd.

Thinking about how long it took to be OK with casual touch is baffling now. A lot of work went into not cringing, or backing away from people often happened and to this day I sometimes feel that I have put myself in situations to casually reach out. I do this mostly so people do not view me as aloof or cold. It is amazing to think that after 10 plus year military training does run strong and deep and does sometimes will still shape my base instincts.

As an FYI, a great starting point with me will always be pets. Animals are definitely my first break down in barriers, because more often than not they give without any demands. Want to buy my love? Bring me an animal in need of attention and I will gladly roll around on the floor for cuddles with very little dignity and reckless abandonment.

People on the other hand are a little trickier. The idea of connection or touch can be a mixed bag. Especially with out current political climate and the idea of unwanted touch being so prevalent. This is not an exploration of that side of touch, but rather the idea of positive touch, or connection. Finding the joy in a hug, a pat on the hand or even just a gentle shoulder squeeze. As a person sometimes we forget that touch does not have to be perverse, but can be comforting and just a gentle assurance that someone is there for you, grounding you and offering support in a small way. So today I am embracing the art of embracing gentle touch and seeing what the physical connection has to offer in the long run.


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